Our Referral Call for Matthew

Our church is reading through the entire Bible right now, in chronological order, through a Bible Study called,  "The Story." Last week we read about Joseph. Our friend, Ryan Ingram from Awakening Church in San Jose, was the visiting speaker. He said that "Do not be afraid," was the most often used command in the Bible, and it is usually followed by, "for I am with you." Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, then wrongly accused and thrown into jail. Each time his circumstances were heartbreaking and difficult (to say the least). Joseph was faithful in the struggles, and it prepared him for future opportunities.

After Cruz died and we were in Ethiopia, I kept saying, "We have finished this adoption. I'm not going back. We have done what God asked us to do, and let's just move forward."
What do you think motivated all of this? FEAR.
I was straight up afraid. If we opened our hearts again to love, than we would be running the risk of having our hearts broken again. My heart and mind were changed when Kenny asked me to really pray about it, and I opened my heart just a little bit to the possibility. The second I cracked open the door, it was flung open, as thoughts of loving, and snuggling, and laughing, and growing as a family entered my mind and heart. Once again, it was over. We were all in.

One thing that Ryan said last week that just slayed me, " God does not call us into the deep water to let us drown." I pretty much had a meltdown in the middle of the church service. "Lord, I know I can trust YOU. I know You are GOOD. Do not let me drown. I am in. I know you are with us. Carry us Lord. We need it to be easier this time." I was preparing my heart for a year, because when we were at Hannah's Hope, there was only one little boy that didn't have a family. A tiny baby, born on the 4th of July....

Two days later we received a call from our caseworker. I was two hours away in San Rafael, about 5 minutes from my friend Alisha's house. I was coming to visit her to meet her newest son. At 12:05, Toni called. I hesitantly picked up, trying not to have false hopes.

I calmly and blandly said, "Hi, Toni."

Toni: Hi. I just wanted to make sure you guys are ready to move forward again.

Me (in my mind): This better not be why she is calling me. We've talked with her and the director about it. We've done paperwork on it. We've already examined every corner of our hearts.
Me (outloud): Yes...Toni?????
Toni: Well, then there is a little boy I'd like to talk with you about.
Me: Are you serious?
Toni: Yes, call Kenny and conference me in.

Calling Kenny
He is currently getting a tattoo color done with our friend Jason Anderson.
Kenny: Hello.
Me: We have a son.
Kenny: Huh?
Me: We have son.
Kenny: What?
Me: We have a son. We got a referral. He's 2 1/2.....(Now here is where we pause and look at the previous transcript. Did you hear her say something about him being 2 1/2 years old? me neither. I had recently heard there was a 2 1/2 year old boy there, so I assumed he was our son. Wrongly assumed.)
Kenny: What? Ok. Wow. I'll have Jason wrap my leg. I'm coming home.
We conference in Toni and the first thing she says is: Well, he is really tiny.
Kenny and Cat (in our heads): ahhhh. poor little boy. So tiny at 2 1/2 years.
Toni: He was born on July 4th, 2013.
Kenny and Cat: WHAT?
Commence hysterical laughter that had been pent up inside of me from a month of sadness. Serious screaming of, "A Baby!??" Followed by more laughter and then screaming. She could not get a word in.

Finally I calmed down and she told us about our beautiful boy. I immediately knew who he was and was shouting, "We met him while we were there laying Cruz to rest."
Only God.
Only God could have planned this.
Our baby arrived at Hannah's Hope on September 1st, and Cruz left to the hospital on the 6th. 5 days they overlapped. How is that possible? The brothers were together. We have a picture of them in the same room. It just makes the story that much sweeter that Cruz was there to welcome his brother. He wasn't without his family. His brother was there with him.
Beauty from ashes.


We will name our baby boy, Matthew, which means, "Gift from God."
All of our paperwork has been submitted, and now we wait for our court date. The average is 8-10 weeks, so we are hoping to set new records with the earliest given court date of all time (just like every family hopes).

If God calls you to do something that at first sounds outrageous, uncomfortable, or counter cultural. Just know that if He is calling you out into the deep waters, HE WILL NOT LET YOU DROWN.

Thank you all for your prayers, love and support.

Psalm 69:1-2 Here David is crying out to the Lord:

"Save me, O God!
    The water is up to my neck;
² I am sinking in deep mud,
    and there is no solid ground;
I am out in deep water,
    and the waves are about to drown me.
³ I am worn out from calling for help,
    and my throat is aching.
I have strained my eyes,
    looking for your help."

Psalm 69:13-15

"But as for me, I will pray to you, Lord;
    answer me, God, at a time you choose.
Answer me because of your great love,
    because you keep your promise to save.
¹⁴ Save me from sinking in the mud;
    keep me safe from my enemies,
    safe from the deep water.
¹⁵ Don't let the flood come over me;
    don't let me drown in the depths
    or sink into the grave."

"Oceans (where feet may fail)" by Hillsong UNITED