A Father's Perspective

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... In the beginning God did not create orphans. The earth was majestic. Humans and animals lived together in harmony...then sin. Sin entered the world after Adam and Eve did what they thought was best for them. They disobeyed God and then…sin. A shift occurred. Darkness managed it's first foot hold on this earth…man did the rest.

One of the travesties created from sin was orphans. Defined by the dictionary, as a child who is deprived of both parents, without protection. This was not a part of our loving Father's great design, but it is a part of our world today. Jesus transformed our world with an out-of-the-box perspective and approach to life. He introduced grace and mercy. He taught us to pray for our enemies, to love others as we love ourselves, to take up the cause of the widows, fight for those who can't fight for themselves, and be parents to those that don't have any. This is where we took our mark on our journey to adopt. To be parents to one who didn't have any.

We are not "great" people. We began on this journey because of Jesus Christ and the example he set for us when he walked this earth thousands of years ago. "…That when we were dead from our sins he gave his own life that we might be saved.". God our Father, in all of his perfection, was separated from us because of our sin. We were abandoned and trapped by our sin. Chance after chance, humanity could not break free from our own selfishness. But, he was so desperate to be with us that he had to do something to rescue us. So, he sacrificed for us. He sacrificed his most prized family member, his only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus walked this earth, he suffered for his cause. When we could not fight for ourselves he fought for us. He fought for us to the point of death. He suffered pain, humiliation, embarrassment, ridicule…why? Because he cared more about saving us from our sin then he did his own life. God could have just said some words and fixed it all in a breath. But he didn't. He wanted to show us, how much he loves us. How far he was willing to go to love us. How much he was willing to endure to save us…and he did. He died in the name of humanity. Jesus' death could have been accomplished by any man…we all die. But, Jesus wasn't anyone. He was the gateway between us and God. He was our ticket into God's family. So…as prophesied, Jesus rose from the dead three days after he was laid to rest. He was special. He was different. He was God. He beat death. Now THAT is special, that is different. No man has defeated death, except one, Jesus Christ. At that moment, he made salvation available to EVERYONE. No matter how good or how bad a person was, ALL we have to do is confess with our mouth and believe in our heart that he is our Lord and we will be saved. We are adopted…adopted into the family of God. We cannot earn it, we cannot work for it, we cannot buy it. All we can do is confess, believe, and we will be saved.
"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." (John 14:18)

So for this reason we began our journey to Cruz three and a half years ago. God has adopted us - when we have done nothing to deserve it. We are merely following our Lord's example. Our choice to adopt was a direct reflection of our adoption into God's family. 

And then Cruz…precious Cruz. A 25 month old baby that changed our family's life! How is it possible that we could have fallen so hard for a baby we only met in short videos and pictures? We fell so hard for this little boy. Through this journey we experienced something unexplainable. We tasted the glorious unconditional love that our God has shown to us. And not just Cat, Maizie, Lucy, and me, but our family and our friends tasted that love also. Whether you like it or not, everyone who walked with us on this journey has witnessed and seen God's love first hand. But with this amazing image of God's love for us, we have all witnessed the pain and sadness terrorizing this world.

PLease know this, we do not blame God for Cruz's death. God did not put poverty in this world, God did not put greed in this world, God did not put sickness in this world. If you remember, we are responsible for the state of the world. Now, I'm not saying that we haven't experienced anger, sadness, confusion, pain, and many other emotions. Quite the contrary, I know that all of you who have walked this journey with us, and some that have not, have experienced these emotions and more. In fact, the amount of prayers, kind words, cards, gifts, support, and more has been overwhelming. I know we all see it. I know we have all been impacted by it.

I know I can safely say that Cruz has impacted more peoples lives in his two, precious, years of life then I have my entire life. I know I have not had a deeper clarity of God's love, the commitment of our family and friends, and the need for brave men and women to step up and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Many people have already asked where we are going from here. Will we continue in the adoption process? 
I say we did adopt. We have a son. His name is Cruz Chernet Besk. The only direction he was going to go was straight into our arms and home. But, our life together ended much sooner then we planned. 

Our trip to Ethiopia was the most difficult thing we have done in our lives. To go to a strange land and stand before people we did not know and claim our place in his life was humbling and scary. But, as Jesus promised, I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you…and so we went and we went well. God gave us strength and courage to stand strong, to stand courageous, to proclaim Jesus' name, to lay Cruz to rest as our youngest child and only son. He did not leave this earth as an orphan. He was a younger brother to Maizie and Lucy. He was a Cousin to Isaac, James, Nathan, Josh, Bryce, Nolan, and Jacob.  He was a nephew to Jacob and Melissa, Steve and Molly, Shelley, and Wes and Sara. Cruz was grandchild to Bill and Kathy and James and Gretchen. Cruz was loved by hundreds of friends.

We are so sad that we won't be able to hold Cruz when he skins his knee, I won't teach him to ride a bike or play Legos with him. Cat won't be able to wash his precious body, feed him, hold him, and love him with every part of her being. Cruz would have been so loved on this earth. But, we know he is with our loving Father in heaven. He is no longer sick. His body is healthy and strong. He is being held in our loving Father's arms.

The sadness ebbs and flows as the days pass. With time I know it will mostly pass, but I will not forget all of it. I don't want to. I want to remember some of the pain. I want to be reminded of the need for us to fight for others like Cruz. For the oppressed in human trafficking, for the widows. As many are, our family is caught in moments where we cannot hold back the tears. We miss Cruz. But, there is something that overpowers the sadness, which is this: Cruz's passing will not be in vain. We will honor Cruz by fighting for the orphan, the widow, the oppressed. 

My challenge to you is this:

Part 1: God is real. His gift of salvation is life changing. It gives hope to the hopeless, which is why I can stand here today and tell you that we are crushed but not destroyed. Give Jesus a chance. Call me. Call Cat. Talk to someone that you know is rooted in Jesus Christ. 

Part 2: To move on through life as if you have not been changed from Cruz's life would be devastating. There are so many ways you can step out of your comfort zone and help others, be it locally or globally. You are needed in this life. Your skills, are needed. If all you can do is support a child financially then do it. If you have connections with medical supplies, use them. Cruz's death was completely preventable. If the proper medical supplies and medication were available to Ethiopian doctors things with Cruz would have very likely turned out differently.

Thank you for your love, support, and prayers.

Our son, Cruz Chernet Besk

August 12, 2011 - September 12, 2013